Monday, 11 July 2016

Real BDSM




OK, first of all -  place yourself on the couch, take out the chocolate ice cream from the fridge, open the coca cola bottle - it's going to take a bit.

You may not know it, but I am a member of a couple of "BDSM" groups, here in "Land's End", where I live.

Nothing major... in all, we meet thrice a month or so, to have a chat or to practice some Shibari (well, at my level... :facepalm: )and so on.

Each group has either a website, or one or two groups inside Fetlife (theoretically, the Shibari practices is organized by a third separated group, but, as the people is the same, I tend to conflate them into one).

Long premises, to get to the point.

In one of these groups, there is an almost constant influx of "new guys", that don't know really much.

Less than me, actually, which is to say - nothing.

As a result, every now and then, having posted a consistent corpus of "hyper-SM" pictures, I find myself in chat with one of these guys that asks

"How does this BDSM gig work?"

I think that they have in their mind the most fine example of it that can be found in porn .

Insex the elder, Torture Galaxy, QueenSnake, Brutalmaster, shadowslave, kink.com.

More so, some of these new guys are young and have, therefore, not yet discovered that porn stands to real-life sex as Star Wars stays to the Mars Rover.

One is glittering and amazing, the real thing is both unimpressive and awesome.

Unimpressive for the armchair viewer, awesome for anybody that has spent an afternoon trying, and failing, to convince an Arduino to act as a 6 function electrostatic controller.

The same happens between what you see in S&M web sites, and what happens in real life.

In real life, it takes a while, to convince a woman that you are not going to mess things up, once she will be well tied up.

And 99% of what BDSM is is really just that - to meet someone, chat, discuss things that each other like, find a common ground, play together.

At each step, remembering that the other has, obviously, even more reasons to be skittish than in a more conventional encounter.

In the end, getting her to dance with you, naked in cuffs with whip marks on her ass and yet, somehow, happy and proud, that's the best one can do.

All the rest... it's just window dressing

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Feel free to point me out conceptual, orthographical, grammatical, syntactical or usage's errors, as well as anything else